From: Elsa
by manicmethod
Summary: A series of text depicting Elsa's coping with the loss of Anna, a year after her death. Non-incest.


**Yo I'm gonna keep this short in favour of a slightly longer A/N at the end. **

**Stuff you need to know:**

**It's in a message format, non-incest, angsty, spice-of-life elements em...it has two little mentions of suicide, so if you're very susceptible to triggers, you may not wish to read, but they're only very little passing mentions. Enjoy.**

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**3-25-14 15:35**

**From: Elsa**

Hey Feistypants, I'm in Starbucks, you want anything?

**3-25-14 15:41**

**From: Elsa**

Hellooooo?

**3-25-14 15:50**

**From: Elsa**

Um...I didn't get you anything.

Are you mad at me?

**3-25-14 15:59**

**From: Elsa**

It has just occurred to me that you are probably in the shower or something.

I went back and got your Mocha.

Love you baby.

**3-26-14 1:06**

**From: Elsa**

Oh my God.

No.

Not you.

Anyone but you.

**3-27-14 9:14**

**From: Elsa**

Did it hurt?

The doctor said it was quick but...I hope he was telling the truth and not just trying to make me feel better.

Of course it hurt, you were fucking shot...

**3-28-14 10:35**

**From: Elsa**

I stayed over at Kristoff's last night.

I just couldn't stand to sleep in our bed alone last night, it still smells like you.

Neither of us wanted to be alone. He brought a load of your favourite chocolates out that you had left there in case of emergencies. We didn't speak much, but I cried a lot.

**3-28-14 19:36**

**From: Elsa**

Your parents, Kristoff and I are almost finished planning your...funeral.

I'm expected to make a kind of speech at it, but I don't know what to say. No words could ever do you justice.

**3-31-14 16:48**

**From: Elsa**

That was...hard.

The ceremony was nice...the burial was heartbreaking.

I made my speech. They all said it was lovely. Some of them were crying.

There were a lot of flowers. I got you some peach-coloured roses. I thought you'd like them. The florist told me one of their meanings is gratitude. And I am grateful to you for everything you've shown me.

We went for a meal afterwards. They played our song. I had managed not to cry until then.

**4-5-14 9:08**

**From: Elsa**

I had never given a lot of thought to life without you. I figured it would be a long way down the line, when we were old and grey but you were still beautiful.

But I've been staring at the ceiling in our room, hugging your pillow, all night, thinking about what I'm going to do now.

I still haven't come up with an answer.

**4-7-14 18: 23**

**From: Elsa**

I went back to work today. Everyone was really sympathetic, but they all avoided me.

Mr. Weselton, you know, my boss? Weird little guy with the bad toupee? He was at your funeral. Told me if I needed any more time just to say it.

I didn't say anything, but I spent most of today hiding in the janitor's closet. The cleaner brought me coffee.

**4-19-14 12:35pm**

**From: Elsa**

I miss you so much.

Your favourite movie was on TV, that Disney one, Tangled. I called Kristoff and we watched it together.

Kristoff, your brother. He's been great. Sometimes it hurts seeing your smile in him, but neither of us have been doing a lot of that as of late anyway.

**4-22-14 00:00**

**From: Elsa**

It's been 4 weeks, a whole month.

I don't know how I made it here. Every day after your funeral is just a big, bleak, blur of "I'm sorry"'s and "she was so young"'s. As if I didn't fucking know that. Sorry, I know you didn't like it when I swore.

But I'm sick of it.

Why did you have to die?

Damn it Anna. You fucking left me here to trudge through this shitstorm alone.

Fuck you.

**5-13-14 13:54**

**From: Elsa**

I'm sorry

I was just...really mad.

No, that's not an excuse. You didn't choose to leave me here. I hope. It wasn't your fault. It was his.

That bastard behind the gun, Hans South. The police came yesterday with new evidence. Apparently you knew him, in high school? They told me everything pointed to him, and now they're doing what they can to find him.

I hope they set the dogs on him.

**5-27-14 20:39**

**From: Elsa**

Today was the most normal I felt in a while.

By normal I mean less of a robot just doing work, and more like a human hating said work.

I hope this doesn't mean I'm getting over your death. I don't ever want to lose you.

**6-2-14 9:32**

**From: Elsa**

Happy birthday.

I miss you.

I'm going over to your parents' house with Kristoff. We're going to have cake, I made your favourite, chocolate fudge. I'm making a birthday wish on your behalf. I want you to come back. It won't happen, but I can still hope.

**7-14-14 14:28**

**From: Elsa**

I've been having these dark thoughts.

Thinking if I died, I could see you again.

And it would be easy, so easy. I live alone now after all.

I've been thinking about pills.

Maybe I should see a therapist.

**7-23-14 16:45**

**From: Elsa**

I just finished my session. She was nice.

We just talked about you. I told her all the things I loved about you and all the things I've missed.

I told her I missed your freckles and your dopey little lopsided smile and your braids and your warmth and your rambling and just everything that made you Anna Bjorgman-Arendelle.

I told her I still text you. She encouraged it, said it was a good coping method, so I'm going to text you silly things that don't really matter.

**8-3-14 13:43**

**From: Elsa**

Kristoff brought me a puppy!

He said he found him in a cardboard box labelled 'give me a home'.

We're taking him to the vet's to get him checked.

His name is Sven and he's the sweetest little thing ever. I think you'd have loved him.

**8-9-14 11:24**

**From: Elsa**

I was able to keep Sven. I'm currently house-training him, but he hasn't quite grasped the concept yet.

I'm glad there's no carpet to ruin.

**8-17-14 18:29**

**From: Elsa**

I'm giving up my job in the office. The hours are too much for the pay, especially now with Sven.

There's a little café that just opened last month within walking distance of the house, I'm going to apply for work there.

You always encouraged me to follow my dream of opening a bakery. This could be the start of it.

I'm just sorry you're not here to reach it with me.

**9-1-14 12:42**

**From: Elsa**

I got the job!

I start tomorrow.

It's a nice little place, you'd have loved it. They make all these delightful Danish pastries and they're going to teach me how to make them. I'm really excited.

**9-9-14 18:12**

**From: Elsa**

That was a long week. But it was a good one.

I went back to the therapist to tell her how I've been doing.

She said I seemed a lot happier.

And that scares me. That I might be losing my grasp on you. She said not to worry, but I can't help it.

**9-15-14 16:01**

**From: Elsa**

I've been cleaning the house today. I figured I'd keep up our bi-annual tradition.

I found our college yearbooks in a box in the closet. I hadn't realized you kept them. I'm glad you did.

I went through one of them, the one of the year we got together. There was me in my too-big hoody and my thick glasses, looking distinctly uncomfortable, and you, lacking any sense of personal space leaning over my shoulder from behind to look at my business textbook.

I remember that day. It was the first time I kissed you. We'd kissed before, but you were always the one to initiate it. It happened right after that photo was taken. Do you remember? You'd started to straighten up again and I turned to look at you and you just looked so beautiful that day and something rushed through me. All of a sudden, before I even realized it I had cupped you face and crashed our lips together. You were so stunned you didn't even kiss me back.

**10-7-14 19:08**

**From: Elsa**

So they found Hans today.

Dead on the floor of a motel room.

Overdose they said.

I'd have preferred to see him rot in a cell.

**10-18-14 14:25**

**From: Elsa**

Do you remember when you dragged me out for a picnic in the freezing October air?

I'm sure you do.

And then before we were halfway to the park, it started pouring rain and we had to run back home. We were soaked before we were even near home, so you stopped and said you'd always wanted to kiss in the rain like those silly movies. I hadn't expected you to drop to one knee after we kissed, on the sopping wet pavement and pull out a ring.

I had, however, expected you to drop aforementioned ring attempting to put it on me while you were trembling with the cold. I also expected it would take some time of you clumsily groping around to eventually find the thing.

Happy Anniversary

**11-5-14 18:37**

**From: Elsa**

I haven't said anything in a while. I figured it's my birthday, I might as well.

Kristoff came over with a chocolate cake in tow.

Sven ate most of it.

We're currently at the vet's.

**11-9-14 15:12**

**From: Elsa**

I picked up Rusty the guitar for the first time since your...death. I wasn't really inspired to write anything, so I played our song over and over until I started crying.

On a side note: Sven makes a great teddy bear.

**12-25-14 8:09**

**From: Elsa**

God. I miss you. I miss you and your Christmas rambling so much. I'm going to your parents' house for dinner, so I won't be alone.

I love you.

**1-12-15 17:45**

**From: Elsa**

I got a promotion! The café is doing well enough that they opened another one closer to the city centre, and they've asked if I'd like to be assistant manager.

That means I'm going to have to move though. Out of what we thought would only be the first of the houses we'd buy together.

I'm a little relived, in some ways. The house was too big, too empty without you. But I don't want to leave our memories.

I don't want to forget you.

**3-24-15 8:02**

**From: Elsa**

Jesus Christ.

A year. It's almost been a year. Tomorrow, we're all meeting for lunch. Tomorrow we'll gather around your body and reminisce about you.

Tomorrow your phone will be disconnected and I'll never be able to send you another message.

I don't know how I'm going to deal with that.

**3-24-15 23:49**

**From: Elsa**

Dear Anna,

I don't know how I made it through this year without you.

Ever since we met, when you_ literally_ ran into me while we were both on our way to class, I've loved you, and couldn't stand a single day without you. Now I've gone through 365 of them.

Our first date, when you pecked me on the lips without thinking, and got flustered, apologising and asking if that was okay, I was amazed that I was able to have met someone so different from me that I wanted to spend every minute with.

The first time we made love...it was...messy and unpolished, but it was just so _you_ that I didn't care.

Anna Bjorgman-Arendelle, you are and always will be the love of my life, and I can only hold on to the hope that there is some kind of life after death and that I'll get to see you again. Until then though, I'm going to live life just the way I know you'd like me to. No more holding myself back from anything because I'm stuck in the past, in you. It's time I let go of all the sadness attached to the memories of you, and only think about the good things.

I'll let it go.

Love, forever and always,

Elsa.

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**So um...I usually try to write nice fluffy fanfictions, but it never pans out and I end up writing angst. I'm currently (trying) to work on a nice multi-chap Elsanna fic, but the words aren't flowing as easily as they did with this. This was my first completed Elsanna piece. If you have any requests for Elsanna one-shots, or even multi-chap fics (angst or otherwise), my inbox is open. You can also find me on tumblr, **bewareofthefrozenhearts**. I hope you enjoyed, let me know what you think!**


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